Seth's Struggle

Some of you may know that Seth has been very sick and in the hospital. He has also had to have a feeding tube put in as his BMI had dropped to 8% and his lung function had dropped from 108% to 88%. The scariest part is that we would not have known any of this if we hadnt happened to have a ruitine check up that day. He had been a little sluggish and he's never been a great eater but we had no idea he was sick. In fact we felt like we had been hit by a bus when the doctor came in and said he needed to be admitted to start IV anitbiotics and needs surgery to have a feeding tube put in asap. Aside from him being diagnosed 3 1/2 yrs ago I had never felt so out of control and helpless. This is my son, my baby, my heart and as hard as I try there just seems to be nothing I can do to control what's happening and that is the most sickening feeling a mother can have.
But... with a lot of love and support from family, friends, co-workers and some flat out strangers we made it through. The IV's went smoothe as always and his PFT's went slowly back up to 106% mean while I spent every moment thinking about his feeding tube and how it was going to affect his life. I cried every time he slept because I didn't want him to see how scared I was. It was the biggest slap of reality I had ever had and I just wanted to take Seth and run, as if I could run away from CF. He actually WALKED into the O.R. holding the nurses hand talking to her about school. I just squatted in the hallway crying in part because I was sad and in part because I was proud. It was all over in under an hour and I thought the worst was behind us. I was wrong. I was told that he would be in slight discomfort for a couple of days. That was not true. He was in pain, he was crying and begging to go home. And my son, for those of you who know him, does not do that. They had to up his amount of morphine and he spent the next 24 hours in a drug induced sleep. Needless to say I was out of my mind and looking back i feel very sorry for those nurses who had to deal with me. I can handle a lot, but not my baby in pain. He's just to good a child to lay there in pain like that. The next day he woke up and was feeling better, he was sitting up and talking, playing video games. Our next big feat was having  him get up and walk, and what a feat it was. He didn't want to, he was very sore and unsure, but he did enough  to get us home. Anyway a week and a half has gone by and he is back to normal and has started back to school as of yesterday. He is stronger and more sure of his self then I could ever dream of being. He has no problem showing people or talking about it and he is convinced that his muscles are already bigger from it! We went on Tuesday to get the stitches removed and by their scales he has already gained 2 1/2 lbs! So I can only pray that the worst is really over this time and we will start seeing the benefits of his new "straw". Thanks so much for all your prayers please continuing to think him. ( I have some beautiful pics I will upload when I get a chance.)