I find my strength in my child

Feeling a little better today and I have an amazing little man to thank for it.

Sleep Apnea

So Seth did a sleep study last month or so and it showed that he had mild sleep apnea. Our CF Dr., the one who ordered the test referred us to ENT to see what could be done and said that ENT would further explain the results to us but that it was nothing to be worried about in the mean time. So our ENT appointment was today and when Dr.Han looked at the results he explained that he did not have obstructive apnea, something that could be solved by a simple surgery such as nasal polyp removal, but he had central apnea which means that his brain is not telling him to breathe. This freaks me out to say the least. He then went on to tell me that he couldn't help and that he was going to refer me back to our CF dr. Needless to say I was mad and emotional and I tend to me a little rude and out-spoken when I'm in this state of mind.... so Dr. Han found a Dr that specialized in sleep studies and she talked to us about our options and we have decided to schedule another sleep study December 14 (Merry Christmas to us huh?!) to test him again and to have him fit for the CPAP. Uhg! He's already hooked up to his feeding tube atleast 10 hours a night and his vest and neb several hours a day ( on a "healthy" day). My family keeps reminding me how much anxiety I had about the feeding tube but how much I love it now and what a huge difference it has made and saying that this will more then likely be the same way...I get it but my goodness. I know they're right but today I'm in the mood to pout and complain, and as much as our family loves us nobody can really understand what it feels like to be so helpless, I just want my baby to be safe and healthy and that feels like it has been taken out of my hands. I want him to be able to stay the night with friends with out machines and go to the pool with out people talking about his tube or play sports without him feeling bad that he can't keep up. I'm mad at the world today, maybe tomorrow will be better.....